Remembering my Gram and Grandda

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Lately you both have been on my mind as I think of those carefree days
When I would run barefoot to your house next door singing all the way
I never had to knock before I went inside because I knew I was always welcomed there
You, Gram was always in the kitchen  while Grandda was finally resting in his rocking chair

Grandda would say awwwwwww by chippers come sit with me and let me tell you about the old days
And I was content to sit there eating my favorite candy Gram would get as my head on his shoulder lay
Some days I miss you both so much but I can still feel you very near watching over me
Your love guiding me, my guardian angels shedding light on my path for me to see

Grandda remember how you would let me take your horse Nell and haul out your winter wood
When I got out Gram and I would unload the sled and pack away the wood the best we could
Then I think of the year before you died and you told me all about your dream
Its something that will stay in my mind forever, I think about it a lot it seems

You told me how you were going up a ladder and you were climbing it all alone
You were making your final journey and then you were at last going home
You told me your God had returned and he had said you must walk the righteous way with me my son
You said you were begging others to follow you so they could reap their reward when their life was done

Then you were gone and it seems Gram was never the same without you in her life each day
Sadly we watched her slowly slip from us and her tired lonely mind began to stray
They all told us it was normal for her to act the way she did with the disease that had stole her mind
But I still think she had just given up when your strong arms and soft voice were no longer there to find

Well tonight I sit here and think about how you both touched my life in a way like no one else
Tears running down my face I hold your memories guarded and locked inside my self
I just beg of you never leave my side and guard me till my journey is ended here
Then I will walk with you both and relive those memories we had once shared

Pookie the Pig

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

I live to shop at thrift stores and antique/flea markets! I found this adorable pig at a Goodwill in Strathroy Ontario, she cost me $4.00 and now called Pookie has become the subject of a lot of my Instagram photos. I can't believe someone would cast her aside but I am thrilled they did. 

I think if I had to narrow down my greatest passion right now it would be telling a story with a snap (photo).  I know the feeling of writing a poem and when its complete you feel pride with your creation and now I feel that same way when I assemble a display or capture that perfect shot. It doesn't always have to be decor or something I arranged, sometimes its just that perfect arrangements of nature shots that give me satisfaction. I found these beautiful shots Fall 2016, just down the street from my home and now they will always be in my memories

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

You know you need an attitude adjustment when you look down at your keyboard and in all the available writing spaces on it you see "life sucks then you die",  #wtf,  #fml,  fuck you! and a head (my head) with a knife sticking out and blood coming from it!!! I thought Holy Christ in a one piece romper, what is wrong with you and what were you struggling with when you put that there?
Anyways my keyboard is cleaned up and here is a more relaxing healthier peek into what my life has been like most of the time since my last post.My pain is a little less and some nights I actually sleep.

Some people have everything, and other people don't.
But everything don't mean a thing if it ain´t the thing you want.

Express Yourself!
Express Yourself!

Written by Charles W. Wright •

Sunday, May 29, 2016

You know I read some hard criticism about myself today for writing a book about me being abused. Even though the people agreed that I was abused they chose to attack me full force. Some of the things they said were true some things they said were just ignorant people striking back with things they know nothing off. and I will add the definition of ignorants just for the ignorant (lacking knowledge, information, or awareness about something in particular.)

First I want to say my book is my story about me being abused for 28 years. It's not a story about my next door neighbours or his family or my father. It's a story about my abuser and the life I lived with him  If I did anyone such a terrible injustice than they need to write a book like I did. I never ever abused my ex-husband but every thing I wrote in my book is true and I have blocked the things that were worst. I said in my book that I wouldn't write about the abuse that was inflicted on my children because that is their story and if they ever decided to write about it or post it on a billboard I will be right there by their side because I still live in guilt because of my inability to walk away from the insane man I had married.

There is only one important thing here and that is not to let what you think of me or if you think I deserved what was done to me stop you from thinking  of my story as the story of thousands and thousands of other women and let my story enable you to be more aware of the torture and pain these women are living with everyday. Maybe by reading my story you would gain a greater empathy for these women .  Most people will say why didn't you walk away but again that is because of their lack  of knowledge and awareness of a woman being abused.  I don't have to make up things and put it in a book to fulfil my life. I have a very wonderful life now and despite the fact that because of the abuse I suffer from depression, anxiety disorder, post traumatic stress disorder and panic attacks I want to open up myself to ignorant and mean people just to help others. If my story can help just one person than it is all worth it.

So please follow the link below and buy my book Lost of Innocence and help me help someone else. 

Friday, May 13, 2016

Here is a little preview of what you will find inside Lost of Innocence

   I could still see where he tried to fix the wall by the entryway to hide a big hole that he had kicked into it and how it was stuffed with paper, stuffed with bags, taped and plastered; if you pushed in on it, it would move back and forth and come close to breaking.  All of this would go through my head as I would look around the house.  Whenever I looked in the living room and I could only remember the time he had held me against the wall choking me.  I could see myself on the outside of the window peeking in to see if he had gone to bed so that I could try to sneak back in after he had kicked me out into the dark so many times.  I would see the corner where he would have the gas can and an axe when he would tell us he was burning the house.  The stairs were all nicely done now, but I would always be able to see that they had chop marks in them because he had taken an axe and chopped up all my clothes and shoes one time when I was trying to leave him.  I would see the bathroom where I had spent so many nights either trying to hang on to a little sanity or maybe trying to let it go, but always praying for courage to end it all.   No matter how much he tried to dress up the house and cover all the terrible things that were done to it, he could never repair what he had done to my mind. He could patch it so that no one else would know what had happened there, but he would never be able to patch the damage he had done to me.  I was broken beyond repair.

To buy



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“But is it such a bad thing to live like this for just a little while? Just for a few months of one's life, is it so awful to travel through time with no greater ambition than to find the next lovely meal? Or to learn how to speak a language for no higher purpose than that it pleases your ear to hear it? Or to nap in a garden, in a patch of sunlight, in the middle of the day, right next to your favourite fountain? And then to do it again the next day?”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

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