Missing things and being happy

Thursday, April 26, 2012

I am beginning to think I have way too much time on my hands ......I was driving Mike to work this morning and as usual when I know I have to spend the day alone or I just spent the day alone I was aimlessly rambling on and on with no one sane direction .......I suddenly blurted out ....Can we go home ?...He said I have to go to work I said no not back there I mean back home to the USA ....(this coming from a Canadian who just recently moved back home from being down in the US for the last 10 years) Mike looked at me and said You just can't be happy can you .......I thought about it for a second and said maybe not but I want to be unhappy with you don't that count for something ....... It was then I realized that it wasn't  Mike I was unhappy with and really I wasn't even unhappy I just like new adventures.......I want to feel the warm sun of the Oregon Coast and smell that wonderful salty air and hear those big waves hit the shore ....... I want to walk on it's beaches again with my wonderful best friend ....Those were my most favorite days ever....I miss the times Mike and I were off seeing new places especially the Oregon Coast ....Every time you go there it's like a new adventure ....So maybe no matter where I am I won't be 100% happy but I know without a doubt happy or unhappy I want to be with the man that made so many dreams of mine come true .....When we first met both of us where carrying so much baggage and had missed out on so much of life but after we worked out the kinks that two people who had another life usually have, we loved each other enough to let each other search and step outside the box and explore what we wanted .......I know we took a big chance of messing up or even losing each other but luckily it just made us realize that we belonged together and we were enough ....We both may not believe in society's description of til death do us part but we know we are commited to being together  

One thing I do know no matter where our journey takes us be it here or in the US, with family or alone I have found the man or I should say the man that found me is the one I want to be with and if that day ever happens when one of us is not happy being with the other I hope we have the love to let the other go instead of living a pretend life, a life of lies and unhappiness....I am so blessed

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“But is it such a bad thing to live like this for just a little while? Just for a few months of one's life, is it so awful to travel through time with no greater ambition than to find the next lovely meal? Or to learn how to speak a language for no higher purpose than that it pleases your ear to hear it? Or to nap in a garden, in a patch of sunlight, in the middle of the day, right next to your favourite fountain? And then to do it again the next day?”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

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