Sometimes I Wonder

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Sometimes I do try to understand how someone can intentionally physical or emotionally hurt  and seek out to destroy another person ...What drives a person to afflict pain on someone and enjoy the feelings of power that they think it brings .....When I think of some of the things that were done to me I can't even comprehend how or why ....They say the eyes are the window to the soul ...Well I have looked into the eyes of an abuser and all I seen was darkness ...I really have my doubts if an abuser can ever change ...I know the man that abused me has never said the words I longed to hear from many years ...."It wasn't your fault" so I have to believe if you can't say that then you are not changed and you never will ...............People say you need to forgive  if for no other reason but your own good but I say how can you forgive someone that is not asking for forgiveness and have never admitted to doing wrong ....When you still have nightmares because of what was done to you ...When you suffer each day health wise because of the pain that was afflicted on your body years ago ....When you live in doubt daily that anyone could ever totally love you because of being brainwashed for years that you were nothing ....How can you ever forgive ....

The Mind Of The Abuser
I have tried so hard to understand why you do the things you do
What goes on inside your head do you feel remorse when its all through

 What happen in your life to make you feel you have to hurt the ones you love 
 I’ve searched for answers to these questions I’ve even asked the one above
Do the power you gain from making them cry make you feel more of a man
Do you like the feeling that comes from the pain someone feels from your strong hand
Do you like the way you feel as you slowly take their pride away
When you lay down to sleep at night are you proud of what you did today
Was it something in your childhood that made you feel helpless and so weak
Did it take away your confidence and make you crave for the power you now seek
I wish I could understand why you feel like you always have to feel control
Why its so important to hurt and bruise and sometimes kill another’s soul
If you could tell me once you have tried to stop the things you do
If you could just say you have been so wrong and want someone to help you
But no you have decided the only way to feel good about yourself is to cause another pain That's why you will never admit you need help and will continue to play you power game
 © 2002 KB


Angela said...

Interesting comment. If I forgive I forgive for myself. I can forgive and not forget. Thanks for sharing, have a good weekend.

Kat said...

You too .... I can't evn understand I can forgive but not forget ....I guess my way of feeling better was to just get an happier life



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“But is it such a bad thing to live like this for just a little while? Just for a few months of one's life, is it so awful to travel through time with no greater ambition than to find the next lovely meal? Or to learn how to speak a language for no higher purpose than that it pleases your ear to hear it? Or to nap in a garden, in a patch of sunlight, in the middle of the day, right next to your favourite fountain? And then to do it again the next day?”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

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