Learning to be Grafeful

Saturday, May 11, 2013

“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.” ~Cynthia Ozick

Since moving back to Canada I'm sure you have all seen in a post or two how much I hate being here and I hate my apartment and I hate the people and I hate the stores ....Well it would be easier to tell you what things I loved since moving back and that would be absolutely nothing.....

Except for the last year before we moved up here I had been working and even if I complained I was actually enjoying my job..... I was always praised for my work and attitude and my life was or so different I was a different person I was someone that was confident about herself and was actually even enjoying life except for the times when I thought I needed to move back to Canada  .....

So my life was now suddenly all changed because the last year we lived in the states Michael had an accident at work and suffered a mild brain injury ....I tried to work but I wasn't feeling good myself and I felt like Michael needed me there with him ......So I quit my job and devoted my time to making sure he got the best possible care and was treated fairly ......
 
Now I was here sick and unable to work and just stuck in an apartment most time alone because Michael was working and it was slowly driving me insane .......Then I got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and possibly rheumatoid arthritis  and with that I got angry and spiteful ...I just gave up

Then after being here for a little over a year Michael lost his job ....It was a complete surprise and as it tried for job after job putting in applications and all I grew more frighten

Then out of being desperate I suppose he applied for a job in the remote northwest of Canada ...It was so remote you couldn't take anything with you and you had to be flown in ....Well me who loved moving was all for it ....I decided to do some research on it ....I read about one guy who took the job and loved it but I read things like none of your own furniture ...no personal belonging just so much clothes and the store when Michael and I was suppose to work would be the only place to go and since there were no cars you could walk ....

It was then I started to think wow I love going for car rides and I love thrift stores ....Then I read about pipes freezing and I thought  well I so enjoy my showers and then I began looking around my place and seeing all the treasures I had found at some flea market in Colorado and thinking ....I can't take any of that ....I looked at all my photos I had on the wall and I touched each photo of my grand kids and thought how grateful I was for them .....I started to feel grateful for the things in my life because how could I expect more when I was so ungrateful of what I already had ....
I'm going to try to be more grateful for everything and everyone I have in my life because things change so fast and no one knows what tomorrow may bring ...

I do know we won't be moving up North but I'm grateful for what that job listing taught me ...It taught me to be more grateful for everything and to show kindness with no thoughts of what I can gain




  

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“But is it such a bad thing to live like this for just a little while? Just for a few months of one's life, is it so awful to travel through time with no greater ambition than to find the next lovely meal? Or to learn how to speak a language for no higher purpose than that it pleases your ear to hear it? Or to nap in a garden, in a patch of sunlight, in the middle of the day, right next to your favourite fountain? And then to do it again the next day?”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

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