Dark Places and Warm Safe Shoulders

Monday, October 14, 2013

This being Thanksgiving day in Canada gives me a great reason to go on and on over the love of my life ....As you all know I have had a really tough time since I moved back here to Canada and life has been very dark at times ..... Dealing with pain and rude awakenings I have managed to fall so deep into a depression ....My days are mostly dark and even though I am trying to be more positive there are still days like this past week that reminds me just how deep the darkness is that has seemed to have swallowed me up .....

I am trying so hard to hang on but there are days when I feel my hands slipping on the rope and I get tired of hanging on .... Is this where I want to be ..... No ..... Am I being dramatic .... No... as a matter of fact  most time I jokily hide how I am really feeling .....Do I desperately want my life back ...Yes

Then there is Michael .... I don't have any idea where I would be if not for this wonderful man .... He is my rock and sometimes he will say all the wrong things and I see frustration on his face but before its all said and done he has steered me back and held me up and he's  telling me to fight this and do it for us because we are all that matters

I am so thankful for my kids and grand kids they mean the world to me and I wouldn't change one part of my life that involves them but I saw on something the other day that falling in love meant to find that right companion that you wanted to share the rest of your life with and I really think that is true ...

I cannot imagine one day without my best friend and his warm safe shoulders that I can rest my head on ... It's because of him that I now can say I know what it's like to be safe and loved .....

I know this is kind of corny but right from the start the song by Anne Murray called "You needed me" almost seemed so fitting in how I felt  and there is a couple of lines that say "You held my hand when it was cold  When I was lost you took me home" and I always cry because even today when I feel lost he is the one that guides me back home ....

I am so thankful for you Michael my forever companion

 This song is our song :)

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“But is it such a bad thing to live like this for just a little while? Just for a few months of one's life, is it so awful to travel through time with no greater ambition than to find the next lovely meal? Or to learn how to speak a language for no higher purpose than that it pleases your ear to hear it? Or to nap in a garden, in a patch of sunlight, in the middle of the day, right next to your favourite fountain? And then to do it again the next day?”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

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