Tuesday, May 12, 2015


Three years ago I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia ... Since then I have taken numerous kinds of pills and seen lots of doctors but never have I found any lasting relief from the pain ... I struggle everyday of my life with no end in sight .... Pain, Depression, weight gain, Chronic Fatigue just to name a few and oh ya side effects from useless meds.All of this have taken my life away.

I can't take road trips or do any of the things I enjoyed before  unless I am as high as a kite on pain meds that I am taking from someone else's prescription because my doctor refuses to prescript me anything for pain in fear that I will abuse it ...... They see my depression and always prescribe an anti depression pill and promise me each one will make me feel better and better equipped to handle my pain but instead they all make me more irritable and angry and even more depressed ..... I have tried small does and large doses of Lyrica, Gabapentin, Cymbalta, Prednisone, Nortriptyline  yet no relief from any of them .... They have just left me feeling drugged, tired and more depressed .... I have tried acupuncture, massages, and counselling but nothing .......  

I feel I am caught not only in the cycle of pain but also the cycle of  medications that they push on me over and over again with no more results since the first time they were pushed at me

They refuse to give me any kind of a pain pill in fear that I may misuse or it will become a habit but they have no problems with me begging for some relief or telling them I pray for death and than look relieved when I say of course I would never kill myself
There has to be some kind of help out there ... I cannot work anymore or go for walks ... I need help with simple task like fastening by bra or getting up from a chair ..... My housework is done with constantly resting in between each choir. 

I still feel like I haven't been given the right to complain or put my hand out for help because no one understands. I am alone with my pain .... My husband understands because he sees me laying on my bed and crying and begging for my life to be over. He holds me gently and tells me he feels helpless because he can't fix this but I want my doctor and specialists to understand 

Someone must know how to bring some relief to this misery ..... I want my life back ....Domestic Violence stole the first half of my life  and now this pain that I can't run from is finishing me off

Some people may think I am selfish to say Why Me? but I ask it everyday and I hate when some say maybe it's so you can help others ...How can I help others before I help myself?

 Please help raise awareness of this terrible disease but more importantly understand it's victims

I have Fibromyalgia .... I need a cure

1 comment:

angela said...

I was diagnosed with ME/CFS was such a long and drawn out experience that when I started to get new symptoms I just didn't bother going back. My alternative health provider diagnosed me with fibromyalgia as I tested all the pressure points. Have I gone back to the doctors. No way. I stopped taking their Cholesterol tablets once I got the chronic fatigue diagnosis, as the doctor admitted it was the side effects of that med that gave it to me. It was instant. The pain levels dropped and the weigh started to fall. I am still in constant pain, but I have slowly started swimming. Of day a week and building up to five. First sessions started at 20 minutes now we go for an hour. Am I cured? No I'm not. But I deal with the pain as best I can. Most days I can work through it, but for those days it's really bad I take over the counter meds. Don't listen to those doctors that tell you it's all in your head. It's not. Don't listen to those that say you need to get out of the house, lose weigh, find something to help your depression. Non of that matters. My pain levels are still bad. And will alway be bad but I feel that being proactive and taking back my health has helped me a lot. Good luck in your journey. Never give up and now there area countless of us that believe you

 

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“But is it such a bad thing to live like this for just a little while? Just for a few months of one's life, is it so awful to travel through time with no greater ambition than to find the next lovely meal? Or to learn how to speak a language for no higher purpose than that it pleases your ear to hear it? Or to nap in a garden, in a patch of sunlight, in the middle of the day, right next to your favourite fountain? And then to do it again the next day?”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

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